FINAL STAGE.....

Yes

Finally it was her marriage.

Thought I would be writing it so emotionally to end this blog postings. Things weren't same, I didn't feel whatever i had thought i would. 

It was 2/19 7:00PM I called one of my friends asked whether he would like to attend her reception with me and he answered yes. Well I made up my mind to be strong and shouldn't have tear in my eyes.

As per plan I went near marriage hall saw name hoarding S...i weds Anil Kumar and went back to gift shop to purchase a gift accompanied by another friend who wasn't attending reception.

Finally bought a gift to her headed back to marriage hall by that time the other friend who had said he will be joining was waiting for me outside banquet hall. 

I parked my vehicle there and said him what i had purchased for her. We were about to enter hall, my eyes was searching for my other friends unfortunately I didn't find any.

We both sat for while watching here and there finally i asked him shall we go towards stage and give her gift, he said yes let's go.

When we were next to meet her I handed my phone to a near-by guy and asked to take a snap, I saw her and her eyes had the same shine. Her eyes asked me "Oh!! You came" and in return I answered "Yes" through my eyes.

Handed the gift I had bought to her and she introduced her "would be(next day)" to me and my friend, he dint even say HI.. never mind, I stood beside her and smiled towards my camera.

Thought I would be feeling a lot of pain when i attend her reception but surprisingly it wasn't. I didn't have a high heartbeat on that day when I saw her. I didn't have a tear in my eye nor I felt bad that she is leaving me. 

Was this all I had ? Was this Love? Or was all my feelings dead? Or it was because I had made up my mind to be strong!!! - Haven't found answer so far! :(

OH oh oh!!! Hold on...

FYI this is not last post for this blog.. I have much more to write ;)

Let me Die Let me Go......................

Yes am Crazy

Sometimes

No No am not mad

Yes might be Just about you

No No am not a great writer

Yes might be i write only for you 

No No i dont fight

Yes i do when i am out of your care, love..

my freaking mind was running crazily in middle of street filled with pain

All my pain had took a form of water rolling out of eyes

people might call me mad.

Yes they are right am mad just for you just because of you

By
N@vi

Why don't you say me GET Lost

I know my words were too harsh that day.. I had to do it coz i had no other choice...

She wasn't ready to come with me leaving her parents.. She don't wana cheat her parents.... it was fine with her if she was cheating herself but she wasn't ready to ask her parents atleast once.. Her parents had started to search for alliance for her and she kept on rejecting.. But still she din't wana face her parents and say that she wanted to marry me.. Finally the day came where she told me that she won't ask say her parents about me and she'll marry the guy who her parents suggests.. And also said that she don't know whether she could message me or call me after her marriage(thats true as per our culture) fine i had no other choice to quit and before quitting I had to create a bad impression in her eyes that's what i thought and started to fight for even small things and make her feel so bad about me.. I myself don't know how much those things were hurting me to hurt my loved one...

I got a small reason of not meeting me and started on it like anything and one day i msgd her "What am I for you? just a chat friend whenever you need me you'll chat and you'll never understand the feelings".. well she got hurt like anything for this and said me "Naveen you have learn't how to talk and i didn't expect you could say this to me.." and started to cry... I knew she had started crying but still i kept going... "And now don't start ganga, thunga, kaveri, godavari from your eyes" phew... 

I din't mean it and i don't knew how i should explain you.. I just needed a small reason to fight for and there were a lot and i caught one thing and started to quarrel.. 

Finally Yes she's hurt very much hurt and stopped talking to me(I stopped talking to her) she thinks me as a bad guy

now.. :'(     :) 

Am confused what kind of expression should i give either i should laugh or cry for her.. I just wish her a good life for future and let her be happy with her alliance.. May all she be blessed with happiness forever and ever........

Finally Most of them will have a doubt why you wanted to become a bad guy in her view right? B'coz what if she thinks about me in future and feels that she lost a good guy what if i had tried in my home n said my parents i would have got him.... etc i don't want her to see in that condition.. 

By
N@vi

So Far So Good....??

I don't have words to explain
How sad am i

I don't have guts to see deep into your eyes
I feel so shy


Loneliness allows me to think

about you just about you


why do we fight

don't we understand each other


Am not romeo to have poison 

and prove how pure my love was
you are not juliet to follow the same
what i do...


Things were so good before you
just becoz i hadn't met you


am in dilemma whether
you hate me or u r in love


i don't need 
sharing and caring that always you do
just ask me how am i??





By
N@vi

DO i Love You??

What sort of title have i given to this posting.. I should have rethought about it.. but more than thinking about it i am thinking about those words u said to my friend.. as that u love me and you can't accept it just because u can't go against your parents and if you do so it will be a cheating.

After hearing to this really my respect towards you increased.. The only question i ask myself now is do i LOVE You?? or am i a Friend of you?? till now i haven't got answer for this. Don't know why whenever i want to make some important decisions i will have two options to confuse me even now..

When ever i call you i want to ask you this question.. But i don't have mouth to ask all these to you don't know why now a days when i call you i want to keep talking to you with out reasons for long time. I don't want to cut down your calls at all. 

Am i getting addicted to you?? Uff!! no answer.. what ever i ask myself i don't have answers for my questions.. i cant ask those to you because i don't want to loose you again and again and again.. It hurts a lot when you are not around me. 

at least i need your messages and your voice to regain my strengths... I think am not a friend of you i know you cant accept me as your lover but still I LOVE YOU my dream girl........ :) <3

BY
Navi..

After a BIG BREAKKKKKKK....

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! its very very very very very boring, irritating, non-sense, stupid, bakwaas, non-humorous, critical, jealous, idiotic, dumbful, meaningless life am living without you... i need you back in my life... i will promise alot to you... (**I don't even know whether i will complete all those..)
But, i will promise you
* i wont call you(till you ask to call) 
* i wont text you(till you text me) 
* i wont ask you to meet me(till you ask to meet)
* i wont give even a misscall 
* i wont ask you to recharge my cell 
* i wont scold you 
* i wont blame you 
* i wont propose you 
* i wont ask you to marry me
* i wont use thanks and sorry with you 
* i wont  
* i wont
* i wont
* i wont
* i wont


Fill whatever you want but i need you back in my life... Stop this speechless fight...


Come back...... soon....... I NEED YOU BACK.......


BY
N@\/!

Dussehra, You + Hospital..

            It was a happiest moment even in such a bad day of my life.. Dussehra.. You were in your native and me here in Bengaluru a famous kidney hospital to look over my dad.. Hmm.. he was admitted their because he had lost his two kidneys and was under dialysis and on that day he was very serious... You weren't having mobile at that time, i called your dad asking about you whether you have returned back or not, he told she hasn't come down yet she'll be coming after 2 days. But still, I wanted to wish you for festival, I wished your dad and disconnected the phone.

              Went in to see my dad again... i got a call it was you you you..... Hai Naveen, where are you happy Dussehra... Hai.. S...i(am Really Sorry Friends i have promised her that i wont publish her name in my blog) ammm!! in hospittal.. Happy Dussehra.. i am not going to celebrate this time.. why what happened ? who is in hospital are you alright?? yes am good but dad is not good he has been hospitalized... OH!!! am sorry... no no its ok when are coming back am missing you alot... soon ill be coming back to Bengaluru.. hey i called your dad he said that your still their in your native.. but suddenly you called me am happy.. idiot look out your dad first not my call ok.. bbye take care of your dad.. ill call you once i reach there... ya take care bye s...i miss you alot... 

Call got disconnected.. but i had recorded her voice to hear that... :)

Just a small misunderstanding
created alot of problems
but still
Heart is filled with your memories..
looking for your way.. Waiting for you..

BY

Navi

Are you AFRAID??...!!!

You were afraid of me...
whenever i was
speaking to you,
you weren't looking at me...
why?? 

are you afraid of me??
I am just in love
with you
i care alot
for you
i wont kill you
if you see me
when am talking to you.... 

You are afraid
to see me
deep into my eyes.. 

you are afraid
just because
you'll fall
in LOVE with me.. 

By

Navi

Blank.. Blank... Blank....

Blank message on my cell
My Mind is going blank
i can't remember you,
Your face..

You are not in the dream
am missing you
your smile,
your scoldings

Daydreaming about you
What you are doing
and forgetting :P
what i should do

Hearing to the
recorded voice of you
realizing my mistakes
looking into your
old messages

Missing you a lot
A voice of Broken heart
can't you hear that?
come back to me

the way you are coming
its still dark
i can't see you
My mind is
Still Blank
and Your way it's Dark...

--Navi

The day you asked me

              On that day you gave me a call and asked for Computer science text of mine.. I was so happy that i can see you again after a couple of months.. that too it was Feb 12th or 13th... i thought let me give you that book on 14th of Feb..

               Finally the day awaited.. Feb 14th (Be fast navi be fast if not you can't meet her) i was before you in your bus stop & i was looking for you.. i saw you uffff!!! Gorgeous as-usual....  tusssssssssssss!!! my power down.. heart ka battery low ho raaha tha... am sure that you saw me.. but you acted like you didn't see me at all.. got into some other bus which will not go directly towards your college.. when i tried to get into that bus suddenly bus door got shut.. Shit!!! 

                But... I had decided however i should give that book to you and talk to you.. got into some other bus which will go at-least to next stop.. in next stop before this bus stop i got down ran to catch your bus finally got in... Yes i could see you now.. once again battery down!!!...

                Got down in some stop followed you and gave you that book which had a letter inside it.. with a poem written by me conveying my love towards you... you just took that book turned those pages i thought you will see that their itself... Thank god you didn't..

                Anyway it was reached to its destiny....

BY

Navi

LOVE at First Sight?? Bakwaas

                   The day I saw you.. you looked the same as every others around me you weren't special but a normal girl... i didn't feel somethings in me.. as they say in our Bollywood movies Love at first sight it didn't happen to me i took my time to confirm myself whether its love or Infatuation...

                    But on that day i felt YESSSSS am in love with you.. those days were horrible to me... vacations.. god!!! i was just thinking about you and you and just you... i started missing you.. i need you around me forever...

                   The damn feeling inside me i couldn't tell anyone or express those... was just waiting for the re-opening day of college.. Finally that day came.. When i saw you this time.. The voice came from inside as "Yes!! this girl was in my dream... she is the one who was disturbing my mind and soul.."



BY
Navi

Just for you...

              Everyone in my home were going to Mysore and the date was 10th December and they told we'll be returning by 15th.. i was really confused whether to go with them or not.. Because it was first time they would be living me all alone in home.. it was very tough to decide whether i should stay here or go with them the main reason was your birthday on December 13th.

             God!! i finally decided to stay in home just for you... i wanted to give gift more then a gift i wanted to meet you. I lied my parents and uncle that i have training in my office so that i can't come with you now as that company was new for me i won't get leave also.. 

             Finally that day came which i was waiting for 13th of December.. i came down to meet you...You were looking great, just like an angel......  friends you know how much time i would have spent with her it was "3mins 28 seconds.." Great right??? i canceled my trip with my family just to meet her but.. got such a great time to spend with her... awesome...

            But still i don't want to blame her because she didn't ask me to meet her did she?? it was me who decided to meet her.. Finally i did that........... At last we exchanged my gifts and her cake.. came back happily... :)

BY

Navi

Me and Rain... In MEMORIES OF YOU

You thought me to get drenched in rain... before that i was the one who used to  just standing aside whenever it used to rain.. you told me how exciting it would be if we get drenched in rain.. Now i have added one more thing to this. Yes, that's having our favorite ice-cream. Recently I got fever and had been to doctor he asked me what you had last night i told him that i had ice cream when i was drenching in rain.. he was screaming at me you don't care about your health.. bloody health who needs this i need my girl.. with me forever and ever...

    I can't forgot that message.. that day you were going to home all alone drenching in rain but some lady called you and told not to go in rain like that and asked to stand with her till that rain stops... when you messaged me this i was laughing out loud..  Well girl I am looking for you to hold my hand when am walking in rain........
 
BUT

    I walk alone whenever it rains... remembering you..                JUST YOU..

BY
ನV

The day you came to my home

You have visited just twice to my home... YESSSSSS!!!!! OF-COURSE i was happier on first time...but not for the second... you know the reason second one was on my dad's funeral...Chalo forget that let me tell about first time...

    I was trying to feel comfort for you... especially with my mom... i was thinking she would be the one who will be with you most of the time once i marry you.... :(     

    On that day it was some puja in my home i didn't invite anyone but instead said one of my friend to bring everyone to home.. He brought all most our gang with him.. everyone were scolding me for not inviting them... but you didn't even speak a word to me... once you entered home.. my heartbeats were high & i was on ninth planet... sooooooooo happy...... to see you...

     After puja session my mom asked all of them to have .. I was looking to you how you would react by having our home lunch will it be adjusted or what??? but you had it.. i was relaxed(yes i was taking a lot of care about her).. you asked my mom for sambhar my mom couldn't hear that in fraction of seconds another friend screamed aunty she needs sambhar it-seems... My mom told you "You should be louder in our home if not No one can hear here..." i was seeing your reaction for that but you didn't react at all.. The only word you told was "Bye".. as every other friends said...

     "I miss you comeback to me....."

BY

ನV.....

                On that day while messaging her i got a reply Naveen ನಿನ್  ತುಂಬಾ  ಒಳೆವನು .. GOD!!!! it was such a feeling like i had got distinction in mathematics(as am weak in maths).. on that day she had read my blog for first time and came to know how much i respect her and how do i treat her what all the feelings i have for her.. but chalo... she left Me or may be i left her... She needed friendship i needed Love..

               Everyone here knows that Girls use this word "friendship" to end "love" and we boys use to start it.... "ಬೇಕಿದ್ರೆ  ಫ್ರೆಂಡ್  ಆಗಿರ್ಥಿನಿ  ಲೈಫ್  ಕೊನೆವರಗೂ.." ಬೇಡ  ತಾಯಿ  friendship  ಅಂತ  ಹೇಳಿನೋಡಿ ಆಗುತ  ನಿಮಗೆ .. ಹು  ಅಂದ್ಬಿಡ್ತ್ಹಿರ  ಆದ್ರೆ ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ  ಇದ್ದ ಫೀಲಿಂಗ್ಸ್  ರಗ್  ಹೊದ್ಕೊಂಡು  ಮಲಗ್  ಬಿಡುತ ಆಹ್??? ಅಥವ  ಅದೇನು ಯಾವ್ದೋ ದೊಡ್ಡ ರೋಗ  ಇರೋ  patient ಆಹ್ ?? ಇವತ್ಹೋ  ನಾಳೆನೋ ಸತ್ ಹೋಗ್ತಾರೆ ಅನೋಕ್ಕೆ???

By 

ನV